The present situation is unsettling. I always considered myself to be one of those open-minded people who can tolerate a conversation with a person from a totally different background.

A couple of days ago, I had to ask my special friend (From a different religion and who supports a different political party) not to ever discuss politics with me. I even made him promise. It seemed to me that at a certain point, when he fails to convince me with his point of view and vice versa, it will have a grave effect on our relationship. I know that it bothers him as much as it bothers me that we both support different parties and are forced to avoid speaking about the present situation in Beirut to avoid a messy fight.

My sister no longer speaks to three of her best friends. It seems that they had an argument over dinner in Dubai and since then she stopped calling and blocked them on msn messenger. She showed me one of the guy's nickname and it read "Aoun and Nassrallah F*uck one another" in Arabic.

I find this very offensive and I am sure that if one of my friends used this language in front of me, I too would avoid ever speaking to him/her again.

Since when did we become so sensitive about these things? We do not even live in Lebanon anymore and are no longer involved in politics as our parents and friends are.

I know one thing for a fact, Lebanon is a UNIQUE country. So many differences easily concealed and easily unveiled and when that happens civil war is at hand! It seems that they have been trying to control it for too long, trying to live in supposed harmony, but this is no longer possible.
- posted by Shermin @ 9:44 PM

 
When do alarm bells sound off? Is it in school, at the airport or when you are living next to a fire station?

It is when life becomes synonymous to his name. Suddenly, the only reason you are waking up, going to work, brushing your hair, going for a pedicure and manicure and shopping for clothes is HIM.

That is all great; it is love after all. So when do alarm bells sound off and drive you mad with worry?

It is when you know you are falling in love madly and at the same time allowing your mad love and your state of emotional wreck to ruin things.

What is wrong with women? Is it hormones or are we just insane?

I figured things out, not for the rest of women but for my case.

I am an emotionally unstable demanding diva who needs to be pulled down to earth. I need to find something to look forward to throughout the day other than seeing him, hugging him, kissing him, ahhh!

I need to start having a life, outside his.
- posted by Shermin @ 1:44 AM

 
Someone divided time, and I do not know who that person is. We have years divided into months, into days, and into hours...
This is the begining of a new year. Nothing feels different. My worries and troubles are still hanging from my shoulder, and I am the exact person I was 4 days ago.
People speak of resolutions, I have spoken of making a change and doing what feels right instead of doing what I am urged to do.
So what has changed in the past year? All I could think of is announcing that I now have a better knowledge in music and less confidence in myself and the life I am leading. However it feels good to admit that I am now familiar with more artists and their music. What matters more than music to me?


- posted by Shermin @ 4:31 AM

 
In the darkness there is emptiness. I do not exist to you or you to me to me under the veil of nothingness.
I ask the emptiness to overwhelm me and rid me of this burden of life. Feelings only come in opposite pairs which I ask to be devoid of.

Distance yourself, cease to exist in this game of anguish betrayal. I might be weak but I am a master at this game of escape and flee. I'll run away from you and the monster which I have created.
Yes, I've created a monster and you are an accomplice in this murder of souls.
- posted by Shermin @ 9:14 AM

 
The problem with growing up is that it rids you of the image of a being that you'e created for yourself. With every passing day I feel that more is being lost, and so much nonsense gained. I detest the being I am now.
Married men, are men who are off the market. Marrried men, are the sort of men you're supposed to not get involved with. A married man is whom I have crippling my intelligence.

- posted by Shermin @ 7:33 AM

 
I am losing interest in this life. For the first time in my life I feel that I am in no control of my life. For years, I was fooled by people who had me convinced that I was a free soul, an aspiring young girl to be an independent lady. I am to be blamed, no one else but me. I was the fool with arms wide open!

Happiness does not exist where there are restraints. Happiness can be attained if one is independent, if one has a free will, and if one sees no boundaries or limits.

Some make sure that their lives are part of yours no matter what. They intertwine their lives with yours, a web is formed, and there is no way out. It is like when someone comes to you with a problem. They talk to you and they ask you to be sympathetic if they are sad and to be joyous if they are happy. They do not need your feelings, because they won't add up or lessen from theirs. They just want you to become a part of their lives. And you join in with gratitude.

- posted by Shermin @ 11:59 PM

 
There is more hate in me than there is in the world! There is anger, there is contempt, there is every negative feeling known to man!

- posted by Shermin @ 9:19 AM